Dating is the worst. Part of me is tempted to say this is universal—that everyone kind of hates it. But maybe not. In any case, dating has sucked for me. Looking back, it seems dating was much easier when I was a cis-gendered female, rather than it is now that I am an out trans guy.
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When Laura first met her boyfriend Oli she had no idea the well-dressed guy she'd been eyeing up from across their seminar room was trans. But once I got my head round the idea I wasn't fazed at all. Now 22 and 24, Laura and Oli have been together for two and a half years and are getting married next summer after the final stage of Oli's genital reassignment surgery. Like all couples, they've had their fair share of ups and downs, but being in a trans relationship brings its own unique complications. For Laura, sex with Oli was a revelation.
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Our relationship is close, but recently things have gotten complicated. She came out to us as pansexual when she was I was concerned about her labeling herself at such a young age and being bullied.
I certainly do not profess to have all the answers and can only speak from my personal experience. But there is always that edge of not only knowing that you have to tell them soon, but the physical and emotional restraint that has to come with this. Though not always… I did once have an experience with a woman I dated very briefly, where on the second date we somehow ended up in her bed and for her, there was only one way this was gonna go. The other kind of restraint is the emotional kind. That is a person I am very happy and proud to be.